New Anatomy

from by Prevenge

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I lived a life; calm, easy, stress free
nothing painful and no mental disease.
Blood, needles, paranoia; this came to be
trying to cope with this new anatomy.
Every day starts off with a chance
as I roll these dice and get out of bed.
Will I be able to get out of the house
and overcome the torment in my head?
I had these visions of driving far and wide
to get in the car and go where I please.
Now I can't manage to calm my fears
to even get gas or just see a movie.
Every day starts off with a chance
as I try to relax my nerves and ease my thoughts.
Every day starts off with a roulette
36 spaces red and my money on black.
Zero to fifteen, normal as of late
fifteen to twenty-five, heart begins to race
twenty-five to forty, lightheaded, nervous
forty to fifty, true panic setting in
fifty to seventy, clammy hands, heat rising
seventy to eighty-five, can't stand, can't think
eight-five to ninety-five, losing all control
hitting the mark, 100, gone.
Cradled in these arms of comfort
reminded I am not alone
family and friends return the sense
of who I'm supposed to be.
Hold your breathe, inhale down deep
exhale slow, feel the breeze
hold your breathe, inhale down deep
exhale slow, feel the sweet release.
Tighten the grip, muscles relax
tighten the grip, all the way down your back
tighten the grip, muscles relax
let go of these thoughts, bring yourself back.


from New Anatomy, released July 7, 2017



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